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March 09 2020

I wish I’m not this sad.

I used to have this person where I could just walk in and lay down within his arms and be okay, but now I’m all alone.

Left behind and forgotten.

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December 31 2019

This hurts so much

How long do I have to keep distracting myself so I wont breakdown?

My heart is soooooo tired.

It’s another long road but you’re not alone anymore.

December 30 2019

365 of 365

Finally the last page has been unfold.

You were there since the beginning of the story

But sadly, when I turned into the next, the very last.

Your name wasn’t written on it.

It makes me sick how easy I am to be left alone

May 27 2019

This house, is hardly called home. Everytime you get so hype up and happy they’ll just ruin. Slam it in your face so you stop eventually, I don’t know where else to go. My home is miles away from me, probably sleeping rn but thinking of him makes me feel better. A lot better. :)

I was so alarmed when I tried the practice test and got 7/20 score, I was scared. I wouldn’t be able to make it. I wish I wasn’t this stupid, the future frightens me. What if I wouldn’t be able to achieve my dreams? What if I fail my family and friends? Help me God.

May 23 2019

Reading through some old stuffs really makes me laugh, I never thought I would make it this far or even just survive but I did.

I don’t know If I can do it but for you I will try

April 07 2019

My one true love

He was there when no one else was, when my face was soaked with tears he wiped it all away. When I had nothing and felt so alone he stood by my side and proved me wrong. When I was in so much pain, he saved me. When I was discouraged he lifted me up, when I was losing hope he gave me something to hold on to.

I was buried in so much pain, it was hard, I wouldn’t say the hardest but it was really difficult. Spheres and arrows pierced through my body, I felt so weak and I fell. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to give up and yet he told me “I will fight for you, you only need to be still” that changed everything. I realized that if I can’t do it, I’ll let him do it. Nobody asked me to push myself too hard, because he’s there, he is always there for me. I was able to conquer every struggles because I fight together with him, all the pain I’ve felt and experienced was rewarded with a great blessing.

I prayed for something that I wanted for so long, the Pastor said, “if you prayed with a conrite and broken heart God will hear you more because he is close to the broken” I prayed and prayed though I thought it was impossible to get that something and yet still, despite of my doubts, God made it possible! And now I have it. He showed me what true love meant.

Keep praying, for God is with you wherever you go.

March 02 2019

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February 27 2019

It hurts so much

February 23 2019

Fuck this feeling. Why can’t I have you.

I know this will kill me, I know I have to prepare for the worst. I know you don’t feel the same as I do, I know you were made for someone else and will probably be happier in her arms. Yet I can’t help but to embrace this feeling with full knowledge that I’ll be hurt in the end, I’m sorry. Just let me love you, in a way that I know and I can. I’m so addicted, I might need rehabilitation.

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Im so in love with u

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